Happier Times for the Troubled Couple
Oh my. The sad tale of a bromance gone bad. I guess Zaluzhny and Zelensky won’t be hugging it out.
Looks like Ukraine’s General Zaluzhny has more lives than a cat. There were news reports every day for the last week that Zaluzhny was out. We were informed last weekend that the comedian, Zelensky, fired Zaluzhny in a face-to-face meeting and Zaluzhny told him to stick it. (For my foreign readers who are not native English speakers the phrase, “stick it”, means that Zelensky should shove the suggestion up his anal canal. Given Zelensky’s proven prowess as a penis piano player he should be able to carry out Zaluzhny’s recommended course of action.)
Then there were the reports that Zaluzhny was out and intel Chief Budanov was in. Whoops. That proved to be a dry hole. On Thursday CNN claimed that a reliable source told them Zaluzhny would be replaced on Friday. Friday came and went and Zaluzhny was still on the job.
Okay, Saturday. Definitely Saturday. Well, as I write this it is 4:48 am Sunday morning in Kiev and Zaluzhny is hanging on. Damn. It appears Zelensky is as good at firing people as he is in running a counter offensive or holding on to Bakhmut. In short, he is incompetent.
You know things are bad when the neo-con nest known as the Institute for the Study of War admits things are going bad for Ukraine:
Open-source investigations indicate that Russian forces are benefitting from Ukraine’s ammunition shortage and inability to conduct sufficient counterbattery warfare. Ukraine-based open-source organization Frontelligence Insight stated on February 1 that Russian forces previously established stationary artillery firing positions for long periods of time from late 2022 to early 2023 when ammunition shortages limited Ukrainian counterbattery warfare capabilities. Frontelligence stated that Russian forces began to concentrate their artillery in a similar way in January 2024, suggesting that Ukrainian forces are again running low on artillery ammunition. Frontelligence stated that Ukrainian forces can sometimes strike Russian artillery but overall lack adequate ammunition for effective counterbattery fire. Frontelligence stated that the lack of Ukrainian counterbattery fire allows Russian artillery to largely destroy settlements, making it nearly impossible for Ukrainian forces to defend the settlements. Frontelligence stated that many of Ukraine’s FPV drones lack the range to strike the numerous Russian artillery pieces deployed 15 to 24 kilometers from the frontline. Western and Ukrainian officials have recently highlighted Ukraine’s need for artillery ammunition. ISW continues to assess that artillery shortages and delays in Western security assistance will create uncertainty in Ukrainian operational plans and likely prompt Ukrainian forces to husband materiel, which may force Ukrainian forces to make tough decisions about prioritizing certain sectors of the front over sectors where limited territorial setbacks are least damaging.
“Uncertainty?” That’s a euphemism for “taking a beating.” Let’s just do a thought experiment for a minute. If we were getting reports out of Moscow that Vladimir Putin tried and failed to fire General Shoigu and that Shoigu refused to follow Putin’s orders, do you think the West would experience a Meg Ryan orgasm?
You can bet the house that they would. Champagne corks would be popping in London and Washington. So what we are witnessing in Kiev is not just a bizarre soap opera (aka telenovella for you Spanish and Portuguese speakers). Alex Christoforou calls it, “Days of Kiev.” Funny, but I prefer, “As Kiev Churns” aka “As the World Turns.”
This kind of chaos in political and military leadership makes it impossible to carry out any kind of coherent, competent military operation. The Colonels and Brigadier Generals go into duck-and-cover mode. No one wants to make the wrong decision or the wrong choice of who to back until there is a clear winner. To choose wrongly during this kind of upheaval can make one a target for reprisals.
That leaves the front line Ukrainian units behaving like a chicken with no head — a lot of frantic activity and bleeding with death as the ultimate outcome.
The division is not only in Kiev. Washington and London are reportedly at odds, with Washington favoring Zaluzhny and the Brits pining for Zelensky. I guess the Brits are enamored of Zelensky’s ability to pound the ivories with his microscopic member. Who knows.
As I told the Judge on Friday, when it comes to coups and political shenanigans, I always bet on the guys with the guns. Zaluzhny has them, Zelensky don’t. Stay tuned for the next episode of, As Kiev Churns.
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